Monastic Battle

It's Evening, Jesus

I wanted to go into a deep place

of silence with you, Jesus
As into a cave
I wanted to get away

from email and ring tones and
news alerts
I wanted to be alone and listen in silence for your voice.
But when I got there, the noise inside me was violent.
I heard a hundred unheard voices screaming for my attention
And another hundred neglected thoughts battling for brain width
I felt, in that silence, an avalanche of undone to do’s slide off a thousand
To Do lists as unchecked, unappreciated, and unhappy.
I squirmed.
I cringed.
I hid.
But it was only for an hour or two.

I stuck it out. I stayed the course

in search of silence.
Then the mob left, as mobs always do,
It just dissapeared from the screen of my mind

Like the previews of coming attractions

It just flickered out ...
Like a television that lost its power.
So then, the silence was quieter,

not quiet
And my watch over my own soul began
As I heard you laugh in heaven
And say: “Well done!”