Stop Screaming: Psychic Captivity to Another

Marks of a Bad Relationship

1) My good feelings about who I am depend on being liked by you;
2) My good feelings about who I am depend on getting approval from you;
3) Your struggle affects my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems, or relieving your pain;
4) My mental attention is usually focused on pleasing you
5) My Self-esteem is bolstered by _ solving your problems, and
_ relieving your pain
6) My hobbies and interests are put aside. My time is spent sharing your
hobbies and interests
7) Your _ clothing, _ personal appearance, and _ behavior follow my desires,
as I feel you are a reflection of me
8) I’m seldom aware of how I feel - I’m mainly aware of how you feel
9) I’m seldom aware of what I want - I ask or assume what you want
10) My dreams of the future are mainly linked to you;
11) My fears of your _ rejection and _ anger strongly shape what I say and do
12) I use giving as a key way of feeling safe in our relationship
13) My own social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you
14) I put many of my values aside in order to stay in relationship with you
15) I value your opinions and ways of doing most things more than mine
16) The quality of my life hinges largely on the quality of yours